What it takes to be a ROCK star parent

I've learned so much about parenting this week, and I feel like I am ready to take on the world. Have you ever wondered how to improve your relationship with your children?
I just have a few words this week that will go a very far way!
Being a parent is a difficult job especially since every child is so different. Just like every parent wants to be respected, every child wants to be respected as well. Respecting a child means talking and responding to them like you would a friend.
Here is an insight:
1. Start with a polite request when asking your child or teenager to do something. Kindly ask. This is just a kind plea and doesn't involve nagging or yelling.
2. Next, use "I" statements. If your child does not respond well to the polite request, tell them how it makes you feel as a parent. Use phrases like I feel, because you did this, I feel, When you do this, I feel, ect. This also really helps a young person understand how their responses as a child impacts their parents.
3. If those steps do not work out well, a firm request would then be appropriate. This does not include yelling, spanking, acting out, but rather it includes being firm and directing your child to go and do something. 4. Give a logical consequence to your child if they do not obey the firm request. Children learn mostly from the natural consequences of things that happen to them. A logical consequence is something that can be talked about ahead of time with your child even before misbehavior happens. It can also be given in the moment of a misbehavior, but it is better to be talked about beforehand. While giving this consequence, it should be given firmly, but also friendly.
Children are seeking love and support. Children often are lacking a need for attention if they are acting out in inappropriate ways.
One of three things are usually happening when children are lacking attention and trying to find it:
1. They are in need of more power in their life and search for it.
2. They are being rebellious.
4. They try and control others around them.

Mom's who stay at home?

Hello everyone! This week in my family relations class we talked about the power of a stay at home mom. Many people in the world do not value a stay at home mom. The world does not see that a stay at home mom has power to greater influence a child's life. I feel lucky to have a mom who stayed home and taught me the importance of being a mother. I feel like most of what I am comes through the contribution my mom had in my life. I learned many different things through my years at home about Jesus Christ, cooking, cleaning, learning, and improving my character. My mom taught the children in my family that work is a family effort. I really appreciate even greater today the skills my mom taught me. I feel like there is great importance to mom's who stay at home. I read an article this week that talked about how many stay at home moms often complain about not not having intellectual conversations. There are many ways that a stay at home mom can have intellectual conversations and that is through listening to podcasts, reading books, forming mommy groups so that the mothers have other mothers to talk to as well. There are different ways that a mom can improve her learning and improving while being a mom.
I remember this poem that my mom shared with me when I was a little girl and it has changed my life forever. I am so grateful that my mom saw the value in having children and her focus was on us kids.
Here is the poem: It is called, "A Child of Royal Birth"

I AM a Child of Royal Birth,
My Father is KING of Heaven and Earth.
My spirit was born in Courts on High.
A Child Beloved, a Prince(ss) AM I!

I was nurtured there, I grew by His side
In a home where Patience and Love abide.
My Mother was there in that Glorious Place
Blessing Her children with Queenly Grace.

I grew to the stature that spirits grow
I gained the knowledge I needed to know.
I was taught the Truth and learned The Plan
That God and Christ worked out for man.

I was there when the stars of the Morning sang,
I mingled my voice when the Heavens rang.
I was there to rejoice, praise and applaud
the shouts of Joy from the Sons of God!

I waited my turn to come to Earth
through the wonderful channel of Human birth.
The curtain was closed and the Past was gone.
On the future too, the curtain was drawn.

I came to Earth, and God willed it so
with freedom to chose The Path I should go.
I must search for Truth, and Serve and Obey.
I must walk by Faith or fall by the way!

Someday I›ll go back, I›ll answer the call,
I›ll return with my record to the Father of all.
The Books will be opened and so will my heart,
There will be rejoicing if I›ve done my part!

My Father the KING, with his infinite love
Will welcome me back to His Mansions above.
The curtains will part and all eternity,
In its light and glory will open to me!

Marriage and Counsels?

     I have been fascinated this week as I have learned about power in family structure, communicating together, as well as making decisions as a family on important matters. My professor this week shared with us that some of the most difficult things couples have a hard time with are making decisions together. I found this really interesting and have wondered what makes it so hard to make a decision together as a couple.
    There is a formula that I have learned this week that can help any couple no matter where they are in life. This formula helps a couple make decisions together in a calm, in a loving, and in a less contentious way. The formula is this: 1. Express appreciation and love towards one another before starting to talk about making a decision. This is the first thing to be done before anything else. 2. Say a prayer and invite the Spirit to guide you in making a decision together. 3. Discuss ideas and the pros and cons of each decision. 4. Pray and ask Heavenly Father to confirm to you if the decision that you made together is the right one. This sounds so silly and simple, right?
        Well, this simple remedy works! Express appreciate and love for each other before making a decision? When expressing love towards each other as a couple before making an important decision, it invites positive feelings towards each other. Saying and speaking the good brings a positive Spirit into your life and that same Spirit helps you value each other as you speak about different opinions and ideas. When you are discussing and coming up with ideas, it is best to ask yourselves these two questions,"What is it that the Lord would have us do?" as well as "What is best for our marriage and family?"
        I challenge you to follow and try this!
There are 4 steps! Say the good about each other, pray to invite the Spirit, discuss ideas and come up with an potential answer, and pray to see if that answer is the right one. It works. There is power in speaking good about each other. Power in prayer. Power in counsel.
 

A Crisis is an Opportunity

My weeks here at school go by so quickly. I am overwhelmed with many different thoughts. I am finding so much fascination in the family system. It is interesting if you look at what happens to a family system when a crisis hits. A crisis can be anything in a family that causes distress such as a death, financial difficulties, abuse, moving to another state, and anything else that you can think of. This week, I have seen and been taught about the miraculous healing that can take place in a family. There are many habits that you can set into place that help families transition and go through a family crisis. When we are having family dinner together, accepting of each person in the family and find value in him or her, involving each other in activities and in our lives, and when we are open to family counsel and talking about issues that come up in the family. Have you ever thought about how your family copes with a crisis? Isn't it interesting how each family members handles stress and hardships in the family in a different way? To cope well takes setting boundaries, planning, and learning how to make small adjustments in our lives that helps us to handle a situation in a better way. So, how can we teach our children to understand proper ways to cope and handle hard things that happen in their lives or in the family? One of the post powerful concepts I learned this week is this, when something traumatic in the family happens, one of the best healing elements for those in the family is to gather together for a family talk or counsel and each individual has the opportunity to share their feelings and concerns. This is uniting as a family. Have you ever noticed how when hardships hit a family it seems to be that everyone handles and copes with the hardship on their own? Why is it that families do not come together and unite with one another?

As I have you thinking, I have a few thoughts I felt were the most profound this week in my Family Relations learning. 

A lady by the name of Chloe Madanes has written a book about how to heal from sexual abuse that happens in the family. We discussed in class two different techniques and strategies that she suggests that helps a healing process. First, she suggests that when an incident happens within the immediate family, the family gathers together and the perpetrator gets on his knees and kneels down in front on the victim and sincerely apologizes while looking into the victims eyes. Each member in the family talks about how they were hurt because of this abuse that happened. A therapy technique is to show the victim the amount of minutes they were abused to the amount of minutes they have been living. This puts into perspective the little bit of percentage that they have been abused in their life. 

I know that when family crisis hits, it is hard for us to see that it really is an opportunity to learn and grow. A family crisis can either bring us together as a family or draw us far apart as a family. We can help our families practice proper coping skills. There is hope, healing, and happiness for those families who learn how to grow closer together through hardships. Healing can happen no matter what the circumstance may be.