Hello friends and family! I am taking a family relations class this semester at BYU-Idaho and one of our main projects this year is to keep a blog about all that we are learning. I am so excited to share with you some of my thoughts, feelings, and ideas about the family.
I have been studying and thinking this week about trends and myths in marriage and family life. I think it is interesting if you look at the trends of the world today, you will see it is very common that mothers are going into the workforce, couples are delaying marriage until later in life, and cohabitation is 60-80% in the USA. As I have been thinking about these topics this week, I have come to realize that I have some very unique beliefs. I believe that marriage is ordained of God. I believe that because Heavenly Father loves us so much, He has given us the gift of marriage. I often get weird looks from people because I chose to get married at age 19. Even with the weird looks that I get, I know that marriage and family is the greatest gift we will ever receive on this earth. Marriage can be challenging, but it is also rewarding. I think it is hard to stick out sometimes and be different than the world. My mom has been an amazing example to me in this regard. Standing up and sticking out in the world for what is true is a good thing. I have had to stick up for what I believe in during my adolescent years as well as my adult years. Growing up, I had to stand up for being home schooled, and being LDS. In my early adult years, I have had to stand up for believing in marriage and family. I know that those who believe that marriage is between a man and a woman and that families are central to God's plan are going to have to learn how to stand up and stick out as the world digresses.
A myth of married life is that romantic love will last forever, and happy marriages don't have conflict or go through hard spots. Well, let me tell you, these things are definitely not true. Of course, I've been married 4 months, so I am not quite sure about the romantic love going away, but my father-in-law Landon Loertscher said something very profound to Zach and I. He said, "Those romantic sparks fade, but because of all the things you go through together, you feel a much deeper love for your spouse as you grow older together." I will always remember that. Also, in my class, we talked about the conflict that couples face, and it is the hard things that a couple goes through that actually benefit their marriage and can make them stronger. Zach and I have gone through quite a few bumpy spots over the past few months of being married. We missed our cruise on our honeymoon, we had Zach's nice laptop stolen, we had financial aid setback, and we had car troubles. But, if there is one thing I do know, hard things bind you closer together as husband and wife if you allow them to. I have discovered that conflict and difficult trials can either bind you closer or tear you apart. And you know what is the most exciting about that? YOU get to choose how it affects your relationship.
Be one to stick out. Be one to stand up and be different. Defend your beliefs. Love more. Say positive things to your spouse more often when hard things come up. Allow family and marriage hardships to bind you together, not tear you apart.
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