Mom's who stay at home?

Hello everyone! This week in my family relations class we talked about the power of a stay at home mom. Many people in the world do not value a stay at home mom. The world does not see that a stay at home mom has power to greater influence a child's life. I feel lucky to have a mom who stayed home and taught me the importance of being a mother. I feel like most of what I am comes through the contribution my mom had in my life. I learned many different things through my years at home about Jesus Christ, cooking, cleaning, learning, and improving my character. My mom taught the children in my family that work is a family effort. I really appreciate even greater today the skills my mom taught me. I feel like there is great importance to mom's who stay at home. I read an article this week that talked about how many stay at home moms often complain about not not having intellectual conversations. There are many ways that a stay at home mom can have intellectual conversations and that is through listening to podcasts, reading books, forming mommy groups so that the mothers have other mothers to talk to as well. There are different ways that a mom can improve her learning and improving while being a mom.
I remember this poem that my mom shared with me when I was a little girl and it has changed my life forever. I am so grateful that my mom saw the value in having children and her focus was on us kids.
Here is the poem: It is called, "A Child of Royal Birth"

I AM a Child of Royal Birth,
My Father is KING of Heaven and Earth.
My spirit was born in Courts on High.
A Child Beloved, a Prince(ss) AM I!

I was nurtured there, I grew by His side
In a home where Patience and Love abide.
My Mother was there in that Glorious Place
Blessing Her children with Queenly Grace.

I grew to the stature that spirits grow
I gained the knowledge I needed to know.
I was taught the Truth and learned The Plan
That God and Christ worked out for man.

I was there when the stars of the Morning sang,
I mingled my voice when the Heavens rang.
I was there to rejoice, praise and applaud
the shouts of Joy from the Sons of God!

I waited my turn to come to Earth
through the wonderful channel of Human birth.
The curtain was closed and the Past was gone.
On the future too, the curtain was drawn.

I came to Earth, and God willed it so
with freedom to chose The Path I should go.
I must search for Truth, and Serve and Obey.
I must walk by Faith or fall by the way!

Someday I›ll go back, I›ll answer the call,
I›ll return with my record to the Father of all.
The Books will be opened and so will my heart,
There will be rejoicing if I›ve done my part!

My Father the KING, with his infinite love
Will welcome me back to His Mansions above.
The curtains will part and all eternity,
In its light and glory will open to me!

Marriage and Counsels?

     I have been fascinated this week as I have learned about power in family structure, communicating together, as well as making decisions as a family on important matters. My professor this week shared with us that some of the most difficult things couples have a hard time with are making decisions together. I found this really interesting and have wondered what makes it so hard to make a decision together as a couple.
    There is a formula that I have learned this week that can help any couple no matter where they are in life. This formula helps a couple make decisions together in a calm, in a loving, and in a less contentious way. The formula is this: 1. Express appreciation and love towards one another before starting to talk about making a decision. This is the first thing to be done before anything else. 2. Say a prayer and invite the Spirit to guide you in making a decision together. 3. Discuss ideas and the pros and cons of each decision. 4. Pray and ask Heavenly Father to confirm to you if the decision that you made together is the right one. This sounds so silly and simple, right?
        Well, this simple remedy works! Express appreciate and love for each other before making a decision? When expressing love towards each other as a couple before making an important decision, it invites positive feelings towards each other. Saying and speaking the good brings a positive Spirit into your life and that same Spirit helps you value each other as you speak about different opinions and ideas. When you are discussing and coming up with ideas, it is best to ask yourselves these two questions,"What is it that the Lord would have us do?" as well as "What is best for our marriage and family?"
        I challenge you to follow and try this!
There are 4 steps! Say the good about each other, pray to invite the Spirit, discuss ideas and come up with an potential answer, and pray to see if that answer is the right one. It works. There is power in speaking good about each other. Power in prayer. Power in counsel.
 

A Crisis is an Opportunity

My weeks here at school go by so quickly. I am overwhelmed with many different thoughts. I am finding so much fascination in the family system. It is interesting if you look at what happens to a family system when a crisis hits. A crisis can be anything in a family that causes distress such as a death, financial difficulties, abuse, moving to another state, and anything else that you can think of. This week, I have seen and been taught about the miraculous healing that can take place in a family. There are many habits that you can set into place that help families transition and go through a family crisis. When we are having family dinner together, accepting of each person in the family and find value in him or her, involving each other in activities and in our lives, and when we are open to family counsel and talking about issues that come up in the family. Have you ever thought about how your family copes with a crisis? Isn't it interesting how each family members handles stress and hardships in the family in a different way? To cope well takes setting boundaries, planning, and learning how to make small adjustments in our lives that helps us to handle a situation in a better way. So, how can we teach our children to understand proper ways to cope and handle hard things that happen in their lives or in the family? One of the post powerful concepts I learned this week is this, when something traumatic in the family happens, one of the best healing elements for those in the family is to gather together for a family talk or counsel and each individual has the opportunity to share their feelings and concerns. This is uniting as a family. Have you ever noticed how when hardships hit a family it seems to be that everyone handles and copes with the hardship on their own? Why is it that families do not come together and unite with one another?

As I have you thinking, I have a few thoughts I felt were the most profound this week in my Family Relations learning. 

A lady by the name of Chloe Madanes has written a book about how to heal from sexual abuse that happens in the family. We discussed in class two different techniques and strategies that she suggests that helps a healing process. First, she suggests that when an incident happens within the immediate family, the family gathers together and the perpetrator gets on his knees and kneels down in front on the victim and sincerely apologizes while looking into the victims eyes. Each member in the family talks about how they were hurt because of this abuse that happened. A therapy technique is to show the victim the amount of minutes they were abused to the amount of minutes they have been living. This puts into perspective the little bit of percentage that they have been abused in their life. 

I know that when family crisis hits, it is hard for us to see that it really is an opportunity to learn and grow. A family crisis can either bring us together as a family or draw us far apart as a family. We can help our families practice proper coping skills. There is hope, healing, and happiness for those families who learn how to grow closer together through hardships. Healing can happen no matter what the circumstance may be.    

How are you going to fight?

         My goodness, the amount of information that I have learned this week has been so exciting. I have discovered things about the world and about myself in my learning. We discussed in my class about sexual intimacy in marriage, fidelity, as well as how to talk to children about sexual intimacy and at what times to give them information. My take home this week was this: 

If you do not talk to your child about sexual intimacy, someone else will talk to them about it in school, in their friend group, or in the public environment. If we are not teaching our children about pornographic pictures before the ages of 5 and 6 years old, they will run into pornographic images before parents talk to them about what to do when they encounter it. Finally, if we are not guarding our marriage, setting boundaries around our marriage, and nourishing our marriage everyday, it will likely crumble. 

       It is interesting how the world has changed. It used to be that we could just talk to our children once about sexual intimacy and how it is something that we reserve for marriage. Now in the world, sex is a casual and recreational activity that has lost meaning. Sex is thought of with much less respect. Morals have been lost and instant gratification has taken over. As parents of children in a society today, sexual intimacy needs to be talked about from early years all the way through a child's adolescent years. Children need to be aware of how to act and what to do when they see pictures that are inappropriate. Children need to know boundaries around their body. Children need to know that they can come to their parents at any time in their life if they have questions or feel concerned about situations. Think, when we as parents do not take the initiative to talk and discuss these importance principles with our children, who is going to talk to them about it? The internet or their friends? We as individuals and parents have the responsibility to protect our children. We want to teach them proper morals and boundaries. We want our children to know that sexual intimacy is wonderful within bonds of marriage. 

Second, I feel there is a large need in the world to address the importance of protecting marriage. What boundaries are we setting around our marriage? What are dos and don'ts? How do we protect ourselves emotionally and physically? I have come to realize this week that the answer is this; are we talking with, nurturing, and loving our spouse daily? Are we emotionally connected on a deep level only to our spouse? The key to keeping a marriage protected is about setting boundaries within and around your marriage. 

Spencer W. Kimball said:

" The adversary is subtle; he is cunning, he knows that he cannot induce good men and women immediately to do major evils so he moves slyly, whispering half truths until he has his intended victims following him, and finally he clamps his chains upon them and fetters them tight, and then he laughs at the discomfiture and their misery." 

Satan is real. He is attacking families. He is attacking marriages. He laughs and feels powerful when a marriage falls apart. He loves that morals are falling apart and pornography is everywhere in the world. He loves that parents have fear and feel uncomfortable about teaching their children correct standards and morals about sexual intimacy.

WE need to fight. We need to guard our marriage and families. We fight back by teaching correct principles. showing love. and bringing the Spirit into our homes through the scriptures. 

SO, I pose these questions to you:
How are you going to fight for truth? What thing can you do to protect your marriage? How can you build trust in your relationships with your children? 

Start the fight today. 

The beginning of a life time.

Hello! I have been inspired this week as we have talked about transitions in marriage and learning how to form boundaries around a marriage. I have been thinking about if I went back to being engaged what would I tell myself and what would I tell others who are engaged right now. This is what I have come up with.
Enjoy the Journey of getting to know and adjust to one another. Openly, talk about the struggles and hardships you are having with adjustments to going from being engaged and now to being married. One of the hardest transitions for a girl is learning how to rely on their spouse. When hardships come up, going to your spouse instead of your mom or best friend.
When Zach and I went on our honeymoon, I really learned how to rely on him rather than family or friends through quite the terrible experience. Many know the story, but our original plan was to go on a cruise together for our honeymoon. Well, there were many things that came up on the day before we were supposed to go on our cruise. I woke up with a funny feeling, we were told that toll roads only accepted quarters from a lying rental car salesman, we had to get our birth certificates faxed to the cruise ship company, the directions were different than we had looked up before, and we were supposed to return our rental car at the port that ended up being somewhere else. All of this resulted in many tears when we arrived at the port and the ship was sitting there but security had already closed the gate to get on. This was one of those moments when everything stood still and I had to remember what really mattered the most. We experienced healing from being upset and unkind. This was a transition that took us time to learn.

Dating?

           Dating, courting, engagement, and marriage! Where has actual dating gone? This week we have talked a lot about dating and courting. We have discussed the difference of hanging out and actually dating. Dating takes preparation, time, and money. Hanging out does not take as much effort and come sometimes become too casual. 

         As I have been thinking this week about the importance of dating, I was reminded of how amazing my Husband is at this. When we first met, he was very persistent on calling me to ask me on a date instead of doing it over social media or text. I found this to be very respectful of him. He always made it an efforts to set up actual dates and not get too casual with just hanging out. I think this is very important. We as young people can get too relaxed when we are just "hanging out." I think that it is really important to teach young people in the world today how to properly date. Something else that has been on my mind this week is how a lady or young woman is supposed to act on dates and when they get asked out. I came up with three things that I feel are very important in the dating world. 1. Girls should be grateful whether or not she really is interested or not. She should say thank you, she should smile, and she should be kind. 2. Girls show build up her date. Women are naturally great at making people, especially men feel good about themselves. When a woman can compliment the person she is on a date with and build their dates confidence. 3. Girls should be present. I have seen it happen too often when a girl goes on a date with a guy she is not interested in and gets on her phone, looks around the room or area instead of listening to her date. I think there is an importance in treating each other with respect, kindness, and most importantly having fun together whether you are into each other or not. I have learned that it is not as much about who you are with, but your attitude towards the situation and the feelings you have toward who you are around. So, make a difference. Build up your date, smile, laugh, enjoy time with someone that you can learn from!

Fathers and Mothers...

          I've been thinking this week about the importance of a mom and dad. How have your mom or dad influenced you to change the world, or think differently than the average?  And how have they supported and loved you? I have been learning this week about the important roles of a mother and father in the family. As I have been learning about these roles in my classes this week, I have been reflecting on my own experiences in my home growing up with a father and mother. How do we teach our family that marriage between a man and woman is ordained of God? How do we teach our children the joy that marriage can bring between a man and woman?
         WE can be the example. How did I learn my divine nature as a woman and future mother?  I watched. My mom showed through her example what it means to be a woman of courage, faith, and confidence. Growing up, I saw the importance of being a mother, developing feminine characteristics,nurturing, loving children, and embrace my identity as a lady. I was taught the important role that I have as a woman in the world. My eyes saw my mom put make up on, run a home, and rock a baby. I learned from watching that I wanted to be a mom, wife, and beautiful lady like my mom is.
I also watched my dad. I learned from my dad the importance of working hard, providing for a family, diligence in helping in the home, and showing love to his children. I saw the important role of a father, male, and protector. I watched him change diapers, put kids to bed, pay the bills, read scriptures, and work long hours. I saw my dad take care of my mom. I saw my dad support our family. I listened to my dad give advice about life. My dad gave his time and energy to help my mom and family.
          It was through the example of watching with my eyes and listening with my ears that I learned the truth that is stated here:

THE FAMILY

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A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

WE DECLARE the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

          In a world where people are confused, we can see that the way children learn the importance of family life and marriage between a man and a woman is through the example they see and the lessons they are taught in the home. Let us strive to think of how we can embrace and share the truth of a mother and father in the family.